Wow. I just looked and it's been THREE weeks since we've shared this Blog together. *Deep Cowboy voiceover* "How long's it been since you had a hot, steamin' bowl of Wolf Brand Chili??? Well, that's too long!" Remember that dumb ad? Weird what sticks in my brain over the years. Something really odd jumped out the other day...and I knew every word and nuance in the jingle tune...it was amazing. Here's one: If you lived in or around Houston growing up, some guy would come on TV in a voiceover right before the 10 o'clock news every night and say, "Bedtime, maaaaan, bedtime!" Why is that stuck in there? That goofy ad bummed me out every night before bedtime...because it meant that whatever fun, cool, eventful moments had been taking place, they were now OVER and it was time to hit the sack. Kinda like when it got dark outside in the summer and I knew it was time to come inside. I hated that. There were always more innings to play, more drum beats to learn and groove on, more projects in the garage to finish, and more TD's to score on the carefully paint lined "football street" that ran so perfectly perpendicular to Silver Ridge. So, is there a recurring theme or central issue highlighted here? Maybe this: I've been afraid at times in life that I was going to miss something important. If I were to go inside at dark, or go to bed while everyone else was staying up to watch TV, or have to leave the gathering before someone else, that surely all the good stuff would happen right after I left.
I think that's partly ADHD. My brother was pretty ADHD...so I guess we came by it honest. I remember eating a few meals with Bart and before I could finish (usually because I was talking more than eating), he would be done and ready to move on to the next thing. Well, I have the same built-in timer...mine just goes a little longer before the on board buzzer announces it's time to leave. So....I wonder if somehow he was just ready to move on to the next thing that God and His Universe had to offer? Hmmm...interesting thought. Of course, that would suggest there was even a shred of desire in him to be somewhere that his lovely Suzi and boys would NOT be. Naaaahhhh, no way. Not a chance. He would NEVER have wanted that...even if the Father Himself had stepped up and invited Him to come on in. Bart would've fought to bring his family with. And I mean instinctively fought...like Peter with his sword in The Garden taking Malchus's ear clean off - out of a completely sincere desire to protect Jesus in that highly tense moment.
So he's not gone because his ADHD called him away because he was "ready for the next thing". Then why IS he gone from here? A particulary nasty aneurysm, right? Well, that's the physical reason. But is there a spiritual reason? Is there ever a specific spiritual reason why we're called away from this physical place? Man, I just don't know. I just don't have that answer in my brain today. But I DO have some worthless old jingles stuck in my head for the past 40 years that I can't seem to get rid of. : ^ ) Very odd. I wondered today how long the "why" questions will linger? Is it for always? Or is it just a stage that I'll pass through? Man, I hope so because it seems like a completely fruitless pursuit. Ugh. Wears me out. "Why is he gone?" "Why didn't we know?" "Wasn't there something I could've done?" "Where was God that fateful night in Colorado?" Well, regardless of how long I grieve this loss, or how long this stage lasts, I can always look down at my nifty little blue and white rubber bracelet for a reminder that, "An Eternity Awaits". 
Miss you, Brother...and I'm ready for the next thing. Hey...what's it like?
